(first annual) TFAAF post of the year (2007)

while reflecting on 2007 a bit i thought i would take a look at some of our old posts. based on the objective of driving comments the first annual two fish and a flame post of the year award goes to pandora for her divine taco inspiration, under the heading of Niche Marketing. the visual diagram alone, of the intersection of fine art fans & taco fans (reprised at left), makes this a true winner.

gift shop hijinx

this is what you get when you cross bored students and the art museum gift shop. makes me chuckle everytime i see this - which is more often than not, i must say.

department of the bizarro

came across this pic, which i forgot to post. it was from my local council talking about the days the rubbish goes out on the street. it's a bit blurry, but hopefully you can see it came from the department of 'waste management & leisure'. is it just me or should those departments not have been merged during the last round of budget cuts?

here's to the ladies who lunch

seeing as this is nearly my last day of being a lady of leisure, i decided to fully embrace it by straightening my hair. now, while i usually "go the 'fro," as kath recommends, i grabbed the big-barrelled curling iron and had a go. i look like a combination of a stepford wife (from the nicole kidman remake) and someone out of 'big hair,' one of my favorite gag gifts.

a little sumo

outdoor life-sized yeti not for you?

how about a crouching sumo wrestler coffee table?

a dilemma of nelly-kelly proportions

well, maybe not nelly-kelly proportions, but i am in the midst of trying to decide if i should change my mind. what to do, what to do? searching for roots, but i don't think i'll get that the more things unfold. i guess my screenplay for 'the sublet' will have to wait.

babies don't always sell

so, facebook doesn't know that i'm single. but, that's not my issue with this ad on the left. it's the visual of the baby with the headline.

tired of dating? why not get preggers? tired of the sound of your biological clock ticking? try one of these.

wrong.

chez costanza

while the other fish and the flame are 'tenting it up in tanzania,' this fish is currently in some bizarro real estate dealings with estelle & frank constanza. i seriously feel like i am on an episode of seinfeld. either that, or this is going to be the start of my screenplay called, 'the sublet'.

ah, house hunting

i forgot how coco loco the NYC real estate market is...case in point: call me crazy, but shouldn't the bedroom of a 'one-bedroom apartment' actually be able to fit a bed in it? not even a twin. otherwise, not a bedroom. - maybe walk-in closet, but not a bedroom.

scarily bad (sleepwear edition)

also featured in my in-flight magazine was an ad for Jumpin Jammerz. who approved this?

skymall says: Whether you're lounging around the house, sipping hot chocolate in Aspen, or hosting a pajama party, Jumpin Jammerz are super-fabulous in any situation. Until now Footed Pajamas have been almost impossible to find in adult sizes.

point 1) you will never be allowed within the city limits of aspen wearing these

point 2) super-fabulous in any situation? i'm starting a new job next monday - could i wear these to work on the first day? are you sure about any situation?

point 3) there is a reason footed pj's don't come in adult sizes - and that reason is big red there on the left.

scarily bad (skymall edition)

we have previously professed our love of crap gifts and, in particular, those featured in skymall. here's one of my new faves - for the low, low price of $98.95 you can have your very own "Big Foot the Garden Yeti" sculpture.

described as follows: With his characteristically big feet, our over two-foot- tall Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style!

double take? how about doubling over in laughter...or even crapping their pants in terror?

more insults c/o facebook

being 'in the biz,' i should be happy that social networking sites are using their demographic info to provide more precise targeting for the ads they are serving. (hold on, removing nerdburger hat now). but, i find the ones they serve me getting insulting. first weight watchers (i know, i know) and now this one with the headline 'over 30 with no life'. thanks!

when is enough enough?

persuant to the post below...i'm curious...at what date in january (i assume only january is appropriate) does one need to stop wishing peeps a happy new year? mid-month, the 15th? one week in, the 7th? or, is even the post below - from the 5th - wrong too?

hello 2008

we are in the process of completely re-organizing our lives at the moment, so bear with us for a bit. more fun postings to come. in the meantime - and as the cookie says - we wish you a very happy 2008!

time out

the holidays are ususally quiet, but it is especially so for the TFAAF blog as we are all off to pastures anew. so happy holidays to our faithful 3-5 readers. we'll be back in january for a triptastic new year. [cue jazz hands].

The boxes you don't tick

Van Ramblings and I made a TO DO list in preparation for leaving London - actually a TO DO schedule with time slots for each task. This included essential tasks like mail redirection, cut gas and energy bills, change address, buy, sell, and for me...herbal highs.

I bought these legal highs a few months ago. But could never find an accomplice (you know Ramblings is high off Fleetwood Mac). Last weekend's time slot came and went.

So when a Bizarro Gnome asked me what I regret not doing in London, it's these. And now I find out they're easier to get online than an Amazon book. So close, so far away. Oh well, at least life is still about to get all triptastic.

just plain coco loco

hi. it's december. it's called winter. today was 2C/35F degrees in london. why are you 8 nutters eating lunch outside on the sidewalk?! 

Touch Kiki

Always a blast. Kiki, horses, Kiki, horses....

admirable or coco loco? (holiday greetings edition)

the above (i assume holiday) card was left for my neighbor. it says patrick + girlfriend (sorry). 

hmmm...i don't know what to think about this one. i suppose it is admirable - the sender acknowledges patrick's significant other. but not so much that they remember her name. then there is the fact that the sender apologizes for this directly on the front of the envelope - that's a bit coco loco. 

i'm natalie imbruglia torn on this one, folks. 

self-important pizza

so, my pizza place has new boxes (pictured) which can now turn into a cardboard plate, on which you can eat your slice. on the box are printed things like: I am your ecologically friendly plate; Lift me off; Recycle me. but, my favorite one by far is this cracker: I am really neat. egotistical pizza. yum. 

ah, technology

two fish and a flame and a friend recently took a roadtrip. all across the motorway were signs for high-tech speed cameras (yet, we couldn't actually see any of them). anyhow, it's pretty funny that the sign for said high-tech speed camera (left) is that of about the oldest image of a camera you could find (right). who approved this?

ladies, this is not for you

ladies, step away from the tissues. you cannot handle these. they are MANSIZE tissues, for MANFLU and MANCOLDS only. 

make mine a double

came across this service today - a spin on the charitable 'meals on wheels' - that would be 'drinks on wheels: after hours alcohol delivery'. this appears to be a dude with a bike who you ring up, request a bev and then wait for him to bike over. i can't tell if this is genius or crap.

Got nothin'

So I am reading this book about account planning. You know thinking about the future and stuff. The book comes to the section about what characteristics make a good planner and aside from the basics strategic stuff they stress that being a bit weird and having bizarre hobbies/interests is very important. It got me thinking. I am not sure that I am interesting enough to be a planner. My weirdness extends to an unnatural obsession with star trek and my most bizarre hobby is yoga. I mean not really the stuff skeleton closets are made of.

So in short, got nothin. I suddenly realised I need plan to become more interesting. I need to get me some weird but cool and interesting mojo. Ideas? Now look out the window....Ideas? Now scratch your head....Ideas?

No seriously. Ideas? Thumb-wrestling champion of Australia? Lecturer at a top Australian University where I specialised in interpretive dance?

an imaginary conversation at sunrise

hall: gee, oates, now that it's the 80s what are we going to do about our smooth 70s sound? all the kids are digging electro-pop these days. 

oates: i don't know, hall. maybe we spice it up a bit - i've been working on a song called 'maneater'. more importantly, hall - what about our look? do you think is should shave my 'stache?