this little gnome...

is going to enjoy the long holiday weekend. welcome back, summer - unofficially, anyway!

this pretty much sums up my day at work...

(thanks, JS!)

...except instead of pretzels...

um...

i can't think of a better coupon than 50% off pole dancing classes. in newark.

can you?

this little gnome...

spent the weekend planting a vegetable garden...

i guess we'll find out if my thumbs are, in fact, green...

summer list

i think i'm going to add skee-ball to my summer list. just because.

where in the world is bizarro gnome?

well, i certainly have a long way to go in terms of covering the globe:

28 countries (12.4%)

and the states - especially that whole center section:

visited 25 states (50%)

i've been through delaware, but not really off the turnpike so i'm not counting it...better get travelin'!

you can make your own map here: Create your own visited map of The United States

question

how does one get the job of human anchor for an absurdly large balloon? outside of the thanksgiving day parade, of course.

bulletin board (new feature!)

remember the bizarro swap that i had in my last apartment building?

unfortunately, my new place doesn't have one. but, we do have a resident message board. this week's offering:

seeing as how i still have my 13" TV+VHS combo lying around, i'm considering calling you to tell me about these hours of fun. and for 50 cents a piece? steal.

who approved this? (manly housekeeping edition)

oh, phillips. a man iron? as if that is going to help...

muffin of the week

experimented a bit this week and came up with a strawberry-almond muffin. it was yum!

ironically canine

like hipsters? how about puppies? well, you're in luck...

hipster puppies abound. check them out here.

oh, i get it

it's a box...of joe. punny, DD. very punny.

just in case...

you are ever compelled to make your own cheese, there's a kit for that...

summertime...and the livin's easy

...especially with a little rita's. yum, yum, yum.

why i feel old, part 27

quote of the day:

"wow, you've worked here since 1999? i was in the 7th grade."

who knew?

...that you could purchase lady bugs? found these for sale for $10.99 - $10.99! - at a garden store.

passive-aggressive tacos

i do love a good passive-aggressive note. this one made me chuckle:

and, we also get to use the "tacos" tag again.

speaking of chuckles...

remember this candy?

the fruity ones were delish...the licorice, not so much.

why i can't wait to be old

finally catching up on SNL and betty white rocked it - at 88 1/2!

who knew?

who knew the weather channel was stepping up their music? tonight, my local on the 8s forecast featured this sweet jam:

what else are they playing...the clash, the who, issac hayes, pink floyd, aphex twin - even phish sold out. check out their monthly playlists here.

so lovely

the new ad from british department store john lewis is lovely (despite featuring a billy joel track).

table topic #34

easy one this week...

in honor of my incessant listening of the killers "live at royal albert hall" album this past weekend, i ask you:

34. Are we human, or are we dancer?

i'm going human.

in case you need a little help making up your mind:

cheese, please

here is a semi-imaginary conversation related to the above (while getting pasta for lunch):

me: may i have some parmesan cheese?

counter woman: sure [hands over a packet]

me (in my head): no, parmesan cheese, not a wet-nap. i don't want a moist towlette, i need cheese.

me (thankfully in my head): d'oh

reality?

i'm not really one to watch reality dating shows, but i have a feeling this might be accurate:

(via coolinfographics)