ticket to ride? actually, no.

this should have been my ticket for tonight, seeing has how i lost my ticket to the concert i was going to. not in my purse. went all the way home. not there. returned to work to check my desk. not there. gave up. file this one under d'oh!

why i feel old, part 2

i've turned into my late grandmother. 

i have recently found myself losing my glasses. 

9 times out of 10 they're on my head.

why i feel old, part 1

yesterday's quote of the day, which was overheard in a conference room:

'wait, you weren't born in the 80s?'

who's in charge here?

unfortunately, it's not oates. 

came across a blog called who's in charge here? that seeks - by popular vote - to analyze bands' publicity photos to ascertain who is, in fact, the leader. squeaking by with one extra vote, it was hall. but, alas, we knew that anyway. didn't we, oates?

the year of rest: update

as you my recall, we had a previous post that talked about how, inspired by chinese new years, we felt that each year we should establish a theme that is 'the year of ___'. 

i decided that in this 2008 year of the rat i'd have 'the year of rest'. i'm pleased to report that i have been thoroughly enjoying becoming one with my couch, my digital video recorder, and - as i discovered tonight - family guy on demand. loving it. 

Bus Etiquette

I am not one to judge, ok that is total bullshit I judge everything, but Asian bus etiquette leaves something to be desired.

Pandora and I recently boarded a bus in Cambodia which was to take around 6 hours. We were 'keepin it real' and Pandora (aka Dora the Explorer) said we needed to take the bus locals would take.

Sounds like a plan. Wrong.

Picture it...Van Ramblings and Pandora, back of the bus, a/c, no windows, it's hot. First 3 hrs are uneventful. Then the bus pulls into a market for us to buy lunch for the remainder of the trip.

Worst move ever.

We buy pineapple and pop and hop back on the bus. Locals buy Durian (smelliest fruit in the world, outlawed in Thailand because of its odor), boiled eggs, fried crickets, fish eggs, brains/offal looking thing and a host of other things I couldn't even identify but the smell was unbelievable.

As if that wasn't enough my 'experience' included one local man's bare/dirty foot resting on my arm rest. If my eyes weren't watering so much from the smell I might have cared.

Oh well. We couldn't stop laughing but definitely managed to get more than we bargained for!

dog show!

last night i went to the westminster kennel club dog show at msg, which was an experience, having never been to anything like that before. what i enjoyed most was the crazy names the dogs have. actually not just crazy, but crazy long and random.  

even tho the adorable beagle won best in show, i think that the finnish spitz had by far the best name of the night: ch pikkinokka badgr sir barksalot. if i ever get a dog one day (which is not likely, but if i do it'll be a hungarian vizsla) i think that the name 'sir barksalot' is definitely in the consideration set.  

magnetic poetry, part deux

here is this week's magnetic poem c/o my fridge. this one, hopefully is less barfy. enjoy:

some universe we awake in

perhaps a translucent sky

would make me embrace time

as if drinking

from a morning cup 

of cool blue caramel coffee

the freeze-frame zoo

last night i went to a gala dinner at the american museum of natural history in nyc. this is the quintessential destination for middle school class trips. i fondly remember being tossed out of the gem room for running around on the diamond-flanked ramps. anyway, while i really, really want to love this museum, i can't help the creepy feeling i get that it's like a weird zoo frozen in time. and where all the animals are stuffed animals behind glass. that said, there was something neat about dancing 'under water' with the blue whale. 

favo(u)rite words

i miss the english english language. all those extra U's (favourite, colour) and consonants (programme, travelling), not to mention a few of my faves:  

- nutter (as in nutcase or nutjob)

- shambolic (in shambles)

- ticketyboo (all set)

- dodgy (shady mc shady)

- skip (dumpster)

- bespoke (custom made)

- satsuma (we'd just call them oranges, even tho they're not)

- arsed (bothered)

- wonky (wobbly)

weather girl

so, if i wasn't doing what i was doing, i probably would have liked to have been a graphic designer. or, my second choice, a meteorologist. this came up in conversation once during a client dinner. from that night on, the client liked to refer to me as her 'media-ologist'. nerdberger kids you not. 

that said, this alternate career interest does not explain the fact that each night i end up having the weather channel on for hours on end. the real reason is that damn 'local on the 8s'. every time :08, :18, :28, etc. rolls around and the local forecast comes on my brain has a habit of tuning out exactly when i should be tuning in. curses. 

teen tunes (hair band edition)

further to my post about my teen journals, i came across a list i kept of concerts i went to during these formative years. very heavy on the metal. actually, not even metal - pop metal, at best. hard rock, if you will. hair bands to be exact. 

my first concert, at the age of 14, was aerosmith (circa love in an elevator). but, i was really there to see the opening act - skid row. sebastian bach in all his power ballad glory. anybody remember 'i remember you'? 

here is a selection of some of the other lineups on the list (a special shout out to my dad who faithfully suffered through most of them):

- faith no more / billy idol

- warrant / poison (twice no less, and within 1 week of each other)

- zz top / the black crowes

- trixter / great white / the scorpions (circa east germany wind of change)

- bullet boys / slaughter / poison (up all night, sleep all day was my mantra for a while there)

- extreme / cinderella / david lee roth

- queensryche / suicidal tendencies (my poor mother has fond memories of suffering through that one)

good times, good times. 

a poet and you don't even know it

so, i got one of those magnetic poetry kits for christmas. or, more accurately, i went a bit 90s retro & gave a magnetic poetry kits for christmas as a secret santa gift in a round robin exchange - and i chose my own gift because i wanted it. is that cheating? i suppose a bit.

  

anyway, i opened it up the other night and stuck it to my new fridge and assembled a poem as a way to avoid sunday night chores. here goes:

you dazzled me when you smiled 

on this brilliant morning

perfumed with champagne breezes

and cakey kisses

if but not for you 

i would perhaps decay

from having no foolish desires 

pure cheese!

who are you? (who, who, who, who)

i am kinda paranoid about identity theft. i shred everything. my shredder is the 2nd best christmas gift i've ever received behind my iPod. well, OK, maybe 3rd behind the iPod and my first Cabbage Patch Kids doll. 

so, i'm very surprised to find peeps leaving their details hanging about. on my last flight I came across his & hers papers left in the seat back pocket. and, while there wasn't enough info for someone to steal their identities, there were some amusing things of note nevertheless:

from john doe, an itinerary & to do list that included:

- loan for 300,000 (must be nice)

- D is concerned. You should contact Mr. S, the chancellor of schools (sounds like someone is in trouble)

- send email to everyone in the company measure response time (i hope they were fast)

- mirrigeliscence (sic) in colorado (contrats)

- ipod for skiing (down the aisle?)

- renew pistol club due (scary)

- chairs kmart (with that loan, i think you can spring for target)

and from jane doe:

- a library overdue notice for two books: our national symbols & presidents and first ladies (smells like a class report) 

- an appointment reminder card for cosmetic surgeons 'specializing in image rejuvenation' (yikes)  

who is leaving this type of stuff around?

food, glorious food

now that i am back in the States i've found that i am eating way too much of certain foods that i couldn't get in the UK. or, that i couldn't get well enough in the UK. the most dangerous being soft, huge chocolate chip cookies. i cannot get enough. shortbread and digestive biscuits got nothin' on them. in fact, just go ahead and call me the cookie monster.

smells like teen spirit, take 1

there seems to be a trend now amongst my generation to relive one's diaries from our teen years. i've seen write ups & features on tv about events where peeps are reading from their diaries or posting them online. as i've recently unpacked mine from storage, thought i would share a few classic ones every now and again. all are pure teen angst. this first one is from 8th grade, age 14, and it's me debriefing on an overnight class trip to an observatory: 

My Impression of the Trip

Overall, the trip was.....sucky!! The "activities" sucked. The people in my group sucked. And everyone in my class sucks. 

tell us how you really feel! too funny. can you stand it? i guess that was a more grown up version of my 'i taste hate' period around the age of 3.  more teen angst to come...

  

do i know you?

further to my comment about new york feeling like a giant movie set, the funny thing about being 'home' is that i also keep feeling like i'm going to bump into people i know at all times. new york is a city of about 8 million peeps. so, in reality, i have about a 0.000125% chance of actually bumping into someone i know - slim to say the least - but i just can't shake this feeling...

Misjudging your Target Audience

Since niche marketiing worked so well, why not keep to business titles. This time it's about tough tuk. Or tough luck, the experience one has once they've entered a tuk tuk in Bangkok.

Van Ramblings and I were "dooped" into jumping into a tuk tuk by a streamlined scam that I'm sure, despite having read all the warnings in the guidebook five times, was designed to trap both new and experienced players.

Diversion A says there is a ceremony today prohibiting you from visiting your target destination. Diversion A recommends alternative destinations within the same family (eg. other temples).

Diversion B pops up in a tuk tuk to take you to somewhere else.

Diversion A acts as though he's instructing Diversion B, despite your foreigner status, to give you a good rate to visit these alternative destinations.

So whilst you think you're going off to see some other temples (albeit B grade), you've actually just been dooped into visiting......let's think two women, stinking hot day in Bangkok, in full stride holiday mode, backpack still attached.....

Of course - a shop that sells nothing but custom made tailored suits. While strolling around to visit the city, why not pop in and get fitted up for your perfect pinstripe?

A lesson in receptivity. Though Ramblings was tempted by the special navy turtleneck cut dickies.

The flame is back with some bizarre obsessions

Whilst inevitably one of us is fighting off the plague (this time pandora), I thought I would update the blog with the bizarre things I have become obsessed with since beginning this journey.

1. Moving the tent (once erected) because I think I have found a better place to put it.
2. Head torches. Apparently no good camper would be caught without one. (um, we didn't have one but managed to steal one, by accident, from a friend who lent us their spare.
3. Checking out other people's gear. Wet weather gear, packs, sleeping bags, shoes. You name it, I am all over it. Mostly I just have 'gear envy' because pandora and I were so poorly prepared. Think Wales, on top of a mountain, wimbledon ponchoes, drenched, caught in a storm.
4. Bowel movements. I won't say too much but believe me when you are camping it is all your talk about with your fellow campers. No topic goes untouched.
5. The US stock market. Mostly just the US dollar and currency markets but I have also been known to bore pandora to sleep with the dolcet tones of bloomberg in the background and me loving every minute but not understanding a thing.

So far these are my strange obsessions. I will update you as more become apparent.

say it's so

sigh. life in transition. new home. new job. new everything. hoping that today's horoscope is accurate:

PISCES The situation is getting better, and so is your attitude. The hardest part is over now, and you've got some welcome help. Delegate as much as you can.

return of the PV

first week at a new job and the polite voice is in full effect. big time. see above for examples.

also, unrelated apart from the visual, for some reason - apparently - the gorillaz remind people of me...

life across the pond (part 3)

walking on the streets, manhattan feels like a movie set. and everyone feels like is an actor playing themselves.

life across the pond (part 2)

the second thing i have noticed (in keeping with the theme of earlier toilet bizarroness posts) are paper toilet seat covers available for your convenience. they are everywhere. well, thankfully not everyway - they are generally confined to the toilets.

life across the pond (part 1)

thought i would throw down a few things i am finding different now that i am back in the States. starting with grocery stores. they are HUGE. the physical space of the store. the size of the aisles. the product variety. there are 37,000 types of cereal on the shelf. don't even get my started on the mustards.

and the winner is...

as pandora and her adventure boots are currently making their way through zanzibar, bizarro gnome is pleased to accept this honor (TFAAF's post of the year award - see below) on her behalf.

congratulations on winning our very own self-congratulatory, patting ourselves on the back award. given by us. to us.