why i feel old, part 5

today, i made a reference to Jackée (of 227 fame) that was met with a blank stare. it then occurred to me the person to whom i was speaking might not have been alive during the height of her popularity. 

Media Bullocks

Apparently I am the queen of media bullshit. While catching up with some old work friends one of them remarked how recently they came across a presentation I wrote and, well, died laughing at the utter shite I used to get away with.

I can't imagine that this was my crap. I am sure I ripped this off someone else. Enjoy......I did.

"Our lives now involve such a symphony of media experiences that they obscure our awareness of our relationships with each individual medium.

This symphony places greater importance on the context of the media environment where the complex network of structures, technologies and behaviours now characterises our modern living."

keepin' it cool at 80

you know i love me some skymall.

check out one of the newest products in their latest catalogue - the stealth secret sound amplifier. it's a hearing aid that looks like a bluetooth earpiece! 

i love the double benefit in the description too: Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds: a more youthful appearance and better hearing. 

that dude in the pic could definitely pass for 40 now. and i also like that he's trying to pick up a young blonde in this action shot. 

calling van ramblings

so, i've been channelling van ramblings lately in that i have become enamored by my new phone, much like she has in the past.  

keep in mind that my last phone cost all of $20, was pay as you go, and could not receive international phone calls. 

i was never much of a techy/early adopter, but my new phone is jazzy - if not flossy - and i am digging it. 

 

what would betty do?

so tomorrow at work we are having a team bake-off. well, not exactly team as this was billed as 'girls only'. 

my first thought was that this was incredibly sexist. topped off with the secret (and nearly) 'boys only' fantasy baseball league, i was not sure about where these gender roles were heading. 

but then i thought, get over yourself. channel your inner betty crocker and get baking. i am up for a good challenge. and with nana's infamous recipe for ginger cookies i think i'm a serious contender. 

bring it! 

don't worry...

this is on the sidewalk on my block. i see it every day as i come to/from my apartment. makes me smile every time. 

question of the day

friendly reminder

good news, bad news

the good news is, i'm getting better at ending my abandoned book syndrome (A.B.S.), actually completing a few books for a change.

the bad news is that my A.B.S. has slowly morphed into S.B.S., or simultaneous book syndrome. i am currently in the midst of 5 - count 'em - 5 books. i've read a bit of each over the past week, so not quite abandoned, but certainly a continuation of my out of control multi-tasking. 

looks good to me

came across a magic 8-ball on a colleague's desk, which gave me exactly the answer (to an improbable question) i was looking for. 

maybe, maybe not

once again, the bathrooms at work are acting up. i'm not even going to mention what i came across last week in the last stall. too gross for words. today, our new issue was no hot water in the bathroom, which compared to other discoveries, isn't so bad. 

but i rather enjoyed the signs posted everywhere on the floor explaining the sitch. my favorite line was the following: Hopefully, they will be fixed tomorrow but probably not. probably not? love it - way to manage expectations. 

things that make you go hmmm...

nerdberger question of the day - at what point does one's multi-tasking / multi-media consumption become out of control? 

it just occurred to me that i'm the computer, with the TV on, with an open book to the left of me and two open magazines on my right. 

step away from the content. 

why i feel old, parts 3 & 4

so, two things today have me feeling my age: 

- first, there was a posting on our company intranet about an industry entry for up & coming talent. requirements included being a US citizen, able to travel and 28 or younger. sigh. 

- second, our guest speaker in a team meeting declared, 'i'm sure most of us in the room are under the age of 30.' um, actually, no. sigh, again. 

this, however, had nothing to do with the fact that my facebook status currently has me in the midst of an existential crisis of sorts. 

scarily bad (tattoo edition)

as per usual, facebook has served me another 'lonely hearts' ad tonight. i'm over it, but the visual did remind me of the bizarro tattoo i saw this morning returning from my coffee run. 

the woman had the same visual as used in the facebook ad - a broken heart (above). one side of the heart was on one boob. the other half of the heart was on the other, such that when her cleavage was connected (?) intact (?) - not sure of the right word here - but when her cleavage was together the heart was complete. scarily bad, indeed. 

magnetic poetry, part trois

ok, it's time for another edition of barfy magnetic poetry. 

this one's a bit darker tonight, perhaps b/c for the last week i have been listening to 'heartbeats' (both the knife & the jose gonzalez versions) on repeat. 

pierced by ferocious secrets

which after things are cleaned

will seep through the naked heart

then squirm as if bleeding ice

i feel like there should be a second verse that incorporates 'wolves teeth'

when worlds collide

this evening was a perfect example of when the professional me & the real me collide. the high-yield frequent business traveller me checks into the hotel. the HYFBT me is asked which complementary newspaper she would like to receive in the morning. here, the real me chimes in and chooses the tennessean b/c she knows the wall street journal will not have her horoscope!

ps - the real me is enjoyng how accurate both the sweet & the sassy horoscope tiles from uncommon goods are. 

teen spirit, take 3

alas, here is another sampling of my (now ancient feeling) teen journals. there was a span of 1 month where my journal was comprised of typewritten bullet points. this edition is from age 13, anticipating my first concert, aerosmith & skid row: 

January 13

- 3 1/2 day weekend

- 10 days untill (sic) the concert

- I got 2 new tapes, RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS and ENUFF Z'NUFF

- there was a dance last night

- O. is going out with S.P.

- She likes L. but L. doesn't really like her

- I'm reading Go Ask Alice 

- Mid-terms are coming up soon

Well, not much more to say

Goodbye

happy march day ten

bizarro gnome wishes a very happy march day ten to her favorite librarian, birthday mate & frequent TFAAF reader! 

who knew, oates?

prior to last night, my first and only experience with karaoke was back in 1998. the setting: beijing, bizarro karaoke bar, joined by a group of chinese students we had met on the street and who invited us to help them practice their english. i have a vivid memory of being in a private room belting out, 'i believe the children are our future...' from whitney houston's 'greatest love of all'. 

so, i was pleasantly surprised by last night's adventures in karaoke. a decade later: similar setting, but this time new york, bizarro BYOB karaoke bar, joined by a group of fellow trolls. i will have a vivid memory of belting out 'maneater' in the role (as per usual) of oates. who knew it would be so enjoyable?

good times, good times.  

rainy days & mondays

it's a universal truth that rainy days in nyc results in a plethora of broken umbrellas on every street corner. 

on my five block walk back from getting coffee i counted 4 broken umbrella-ella-ellas. 

the perfect symbol for a depressing rainy day. 

excellent question...

one of my favorite simple pleasures in life is browsing in - and subsequently buying from - airport bookstores. you can have your barnes & nobles of the world. give me a hudson news any day. 

my current find is one called how did i get so busy? which is an excellent question, in fact. here's hoping i don't get too busy to not read it. i thought i was just starting to get over my abandoned book syndrome. 

frienvy

should i be envious that i still have less friends on facebook (31) than an imaginary secret squirrel that also has a facebook page (33)?

and actually, seeing as how he is imaginary, i suppose that brings me down to 30...

whatevs happened to...

to steal a theme from sweet pleats, turns out lou diamond phillips is currently starring in the national touring production of camelot. 

how do i know? i've seen about 37 ads for it on TV, in the span of the last hour. worn out. 

while i'm sure lou is a good draw, wouldn't it be great if it starred oates? and maybe hall, but only in a supporting role. 

the glamorous (ooh flossy, flossy)

the following is a true account of the glamours of business travel:

4.15am - awake

4.45am - car pick up

5.20am - arrive airport, check-in, fun with security 

6.15am - flight takes off

7.50am - land, car to meeting

10.00am - begin full day of meetings 

5.00pm - end full day of meetings, car back to airport

5.15pm - learn flight is cancelled en route, get rebooked on new flight

8.00pm - learn new flight delayed by half hour

8.30pm - de-ice the plane

9.00pm - take off

9.45pm - learn there is a 'non-emergeny' problem with plane requiring you to return to the airport you just left 

10.15pm - re-land back at airport, switch planes

10.35pm - de-ice new plane

11.00pm - take-off again

1.15am - estimated time of arrival

1.45am - actual time of arrival

2.00am - arrive home, finally, after a 22 hour day

not sure it's worth the frequent flyer miles...

happy birthday, pandora!