say it's so

sigh. life in transition. new home. new job. new everything. hoping that today's horoscope is accurate:

PISCES The situation is getting better, and so is your attitude. The hardest part is over now, and you've got some welcome help. Delegate as much as you can.

return of the PV

first week at a new job and the polite voice is in full effect. big time. see above for examples.

also, unrelated apart from the visual, for some reason - apparently - the gorillaz remind people of me...

life across the pond (part 3)

walking on the streets, manhattan feels like a movie set. and everyone feels like is an actor playing themselves.

life across the pond (part 2)

the second thing i have noticed (in keeping with the theme of earlier toilet bizarroness posts) are paper toilet seat covers available for your convenience. they are everywhere. well, thankfully not everyway - they are generally confined to the toilets.

life across the pond (part 1)

thought i would throw down a few things i am finding different now that i am back in the States. starting with grocery stores. they are HUGE. the physical space of the store. the size of the aisles. the product variety. there are 37,000 types of cereal on the shelf. don't even get my started on the mustards.

and the winner is...

as pandora and her adventure boots are currently making their way through zanzibar, bizarro gnome is pleased to accept this honor (TFAAF's post of the year award - see below) on her behalf.

congratulations on winning our very own self-congratulatory, patting ourselves on the back award. given by us. to us.

(first annual) TFAAF post of the year (2007)

while reflecting on 2007 a bit i thought i would take a look at some of our old posts. based on the objective of driving comments the first annual two fish and a flame post of the year award goes to pandora for her divine taco inspiration, under the heading of Niche Marketing. the visual diagram alone, of the intersection of fine art fans & taco fans (reprised at left), makes this a true winner.

gift shop hijinx

this is what you get when you cross bored students and the art museum gift shop. makes me chuckle everytime i see this - which is more often than not, i must say.

department of the bizarro

came across this pic, which i forgot to post. it was from my local council talking about the days the rubbish goes out on the street. it's a bit blurry, but hopefully you can see it came from the department of 'waste management & leisure'. is it just me or should those departments not have been merged during the last round of budget cuts?

here's to the ladies who lunch

seeing as this is nearly my last day of being a lady of leisure, i decided to fully embrace it by straightening my hair. now, while i usually "go the 'fro," as kath recommends, i grabbed the big-barrelled curling iron and had a go. i look like a combination of a stepford wife (from the nicole kidman remake) and someone out of 'big hair,' one of my favorite gag gifts.

a little sumo

outdoor life-sized yeti not for you?

how about a crouching sumo wrestler coffee table?

a dilemma of nelly-kelly proportions

well, maybe not nelly-kelly proportions, but i am in the midst of trying to decide if i should change my mind. what to do, what to do? searching for roots, but i don't think i'll get that the more things unfold. i guess my screenplay for 'the sublet' will have to wait.

babies don't always sell

so, facebook doesn't know that i'm single. but, that's not my issue with this ad on the left. it's the visual of the baby with the headline.

tired of dating? why not get preggers? tired of the sound of your biological clock ticking? try one of these.

wrong.

chez costanza

while the other fish and the flame are 'tenting it up in tanzania,' this fish is currently in some bizarro real estate dealings with estelle & frank constanza. i seriously feel like i am on an episode of seinfeld. either that, or this is going to be the start of my screenplay called, 'the sublet'.

ah, house hunting

i forgot how coco loco the NYC real estate market is...case in point: call me crazy, but shouldn't the bedroom of a 'one-bedroom apartment' actually be able to fit a bed in it? not even a twin. otherwise, not a bedroom. - maybe walk-in closet, but not a bedroom.

scarily bad (sleepwear edition)

also featured in my in-flight magazine was an ad for Jumpin Jammerz. who approved this?

skymall says: Whether you're lounging around the house, sipping hot chocolate in Aspen, or hosting a pajama party, Jumpin Jammerz are super-fabulous in any situation. Until now Footed Pajamas have been almost impossible to find in adult sizes.

point 1) you will never be allowed within the city limits of aspen wearing these

point 2) super-fabulous in any situation? i'm starting a new job next monday - could i wear these to work on the first day? are you sure about any situation?

point 3) there is a reason footed pj's don't come in adult sizes - and that reason is big red there on the left.

scarily bad (skymall edition)

we have previously professed our love of crap gifts and, in particular, those featured in skymall. here's one of my new faves - for the low, low price of $98.95 you can have your very own "Big Foot the Garden Yeti" sculpture.

described as follows: With his characteristically big feet, our over two-foot- tall Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style!

double take? how about doubling over in laughter...or even crapping their pants in terror?

more insults c/o facebook

being 'in the biz,' i should be happy that social networking sites are using their demographic info to provide more precise targeting for the ads they are serving. (hold on, removing nerdburger hat now). but, i find the ones they serve me getting insulting. first weight watchers (i know, i know) and now this one with the headline 'over 30 with no life'. thanks!

when is enough enough?

persuant to the post below...i'm curious...at what date in january (i assume only january is appropriate) does one need to stop wishing peeps a happy new year? mid-month, the 15th? one week in, the 7th? or, is even the post below - from the 5th - wrong too?

hello 2008

we are in the process of completely re-organizing our lives at the moment, so bear with us for a bit. more fun postings to come. in the meantime - and as the cookie says - we wish you a very happy 2008!