fun with avatars

for shits & giggles here is my inner M&M. you can become your own M&M here. this was obvioiusly made for me, as i would have left out the dog.

it's called rush hour b/c we are in a rush

so, i would like to know who approved a photo shoot in my subway car this morning? rindonks.

it was a chick with chunky bangles being photographed - supposedly nonchalantly. there was the photographer, make-up artist and lighting assistant. the photog kept shouting things like, "relax your mouth" and "why don't you try to look more natural?"

oh really? a photo shoot on the subway in the height of rush hour isn't natural?

ps - depending on how the frames were shot, i may or may not be in the background of these pix. please look for bizarro gnome coming to a getty images near you...

wake me when we get to the 37th

that would be the 37th of august. 

i'm really excited that it falls on a saturday this year! 

 

the world around you

usually on my way home from work i end up zoning out with the iPod on. tonight, i decided to pay attention to my surroundings and saw:

- a raccoon

- a statue of shakespeare

- way too many women in need of a better sports bra

- a man in a kilt 

 

photoshop disaster

here is a snap of a subway poster for the new season of top design on bravo.  

how bad is this photoshop job? her left arm (our right) is ridiculously foreshortened. and what has happened to her right (our left) knee? how do you photoshop out someone's kneecap? 

for more photoshop disasters check out this site. 

speaking of raccoons...

does anyone remember shirt tales? one of saturday morning's finest. 

my new hobby: OPPs

not that i need to start collecting something else, but i've recently become obsessed with other people's photographs. i've thought about collecting them for while now, but it wasn't until this past weekend that i purchased any at the flea market. 

apparently, i'm not the only one with this bizarro interest. there was a documentary a few year's back called Other People's Pictures and dozens of blogs about found photos. 

 

i'm not really sure what i want to do with them yet. art project? creative writing inspiration? 

maybe we can have a caption contest? let's give it a try. feel free to write in your witty caption and/or back story for the OPP. here's our first below...

OPP, take 1

so, here is our first OPP. it's from august 1962 - a nun behind the wheel of a whale of a car. 

She vowed to break her habit of running red lights. 

any other suggestions?

say it ain't so

...that stirrup pants are coming back in style. i spotted a woman in them on my way to work today. i think she has been wearing hers since the late 80s. 

that said, i just googled 'stirrup pants' and there's currently a pair on sale at bloomingdale's for $195. wrong. 

whose idea was it...

...to go to (an urban) Olive Garden? 

the quote of the day, of course being, "far be it from me to subject anyone who isn't feeling well to unlimited breadsticks."

table topic #13

here's a table topic, home edition for this week:

13. What chore would you love to never do again?

laundry? i love. swiffering? check. vaccuum? where do i plug it in? but i am terrible at doing my dishes. i know, i should do them right away, before they even have the chance to get dirty. but for some reason, they unfortunately pile up in my sink. and then the sideboard. and then, well, you don't even want to know. 

so, i definitely think dishes. i suppose that's why the dishwasher was invented...

 

green moving?

i try to do my part. i'm an avid recycler (despite the paper plates). i don't get bags when i go to the store. but, i have a serious case of "eco-fatigue". enough with the green everything. 

did the degree in art history pay off?

on the right, a recent interpretation of painter and photographer charles scheeler (left) via my camera phone. 

it is all over so soon? (do-over)

oops. spot the error in my first try below. i think you'll find that this card above is more correct. 

it is all over so soon?

my new obsession

...is Coconut Records - and i don't even have the album yet.

and i miss you

i'm goin' back home to the west coast 

i wish you woulda put yourself in my suitcase

bizarro window shopping, part deux

and in the next window...were these bizarro kicks from walter steiger.  i would seriously break my neck in those. 

bizarro window shopping

check out these bizarro sam-the-eagle mannequins in a park avenue window. kinda creepy, no?

 

admirable, but coco loco (office edition)

i appreciate that this is new equipment, and i appreciate that it's only going to take 10 to 15 minutes, but i've got enough meetings in my day. do i really need to attend copier training? really?

score! (or, maybe not)

so, i like crafternoons. and i'm starting a project that requires picture frames of various sizes. i'm repurposing some and i've purchased a couple at the flea market. but, i was very excited this morning to find two large frames right outside my building. 

was tempted to updated my facebook status to the above. but then again, i think it might leave the wrong impresssion...

table topic #12

how about a flashback table topic this week:

12. What was your first job?

my first job was in 1990 - the summer between middle & high school. i was 14 and needed to get "working papers" (do they even have those any more?) to be legally employed. minimum wage was $3.85 at the time. 

i worked at ben franklin's "five & dime" on main street. it was pretty much a general store, although most things were much higher priced then that. if you were lucky, your mom would let you get your toys there growing up. if you were unlucky, your mom bought your fake keds there growing up. these were affectionately known as "skips" and wearing them would be accompanied by a school-yard teasing sing-song of: skips / make your feel fine / skips / cost a dollar ninety-nine. 

my favorite part of the job was the pricing gun & stocking the shelves. my least fave was unfortunately the primary reason i was hired - cashier. ben franklin's is now a dunkin' donuts and every time i grab a coffee there i get a twinge of nostalgia. 

interestingly, according to wikipedia, wal-mart founder sam walton got his start as a franchisee of benny frank's. maybe i'm destined for retail greatness? how about i just settle for the billions...

scarily bad (pet accessories edition)

i've seen quite a few doggie strollers on the streets of nyc recently. 

and all i have to say is wrong, wrong, wrong. 

puppies aren't babies. and while we're at it, they could use a bit of exercise after being in a small apartment all day. 

good advice (and inside joke)

time flies

hard to believe, but it's been 5 years since the NYC blackout back on august 14, 2003.  in tribute, here is one of my favorite ads in recent years from orange mobile in the UK. captures the evening nicely:

Olympics Overboard

I love the Olympics. Who doesn't. Watching the Olympics not in your home country is always a challenge because you never get to see your country in anything.....especially when you are watching in the USA.

Two comments.

1. Micheal Phelps is NOT the greatest sportsperson ever. This is such an OTT claim by US commentators. (a) no one cares about swimming (well except me who loves it); (b) there are about a million events you can enter, hence more medal opportunities; (c) Is/Was he really better than Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Martina Navratalova, Pete Sampras, Nadia Comaneci.....

2. Commentators should stop being so harsh to the USA Women's Gymnastic team. Yes they should have won the gold, but they didn't. GET OVER IT and stop making these little girls cry on camera. When was the last time a commentator did anything useful other than ride the coat tails of their meagre sports performance back in the 80s.

I think this is my first sports ramble.

table topic #11

here's another time travel topic this week:

11. Which era of history would you chose to live in other than the present?

i'd have to base my answer on art history. i would have to vote for the 1920s & 30s and i would love to have been a contemporary of peggy guggenheim, hanging out a bit in new york, a bit of paris, with some london thrown in here & there. have a few furnishings by calder & co. 

either that or the early 1600s - i definitely could have been a model for rubens. 

slowly getting over ABS

congrats to me on slowly getting over my A.B.S., as i actually finished a book this weekend. sure, it took me 5 months, but it officially does not qualify as abandoned. woot!

word of advice

if you are going to dye your hair. and use the plastic cap that comes with the kit so that the dye sets. and if you are going to multi-task and do your dishes while you wait. and if you do said dishes in a sink of hot soapy water you just might perspire a little under the cap. and if you are not careful, the dye might run a bit. and you might just end up looking like the crow. just fyi. 

bizarro eye

i've concluded that opthalmologists are the comedians of the medical world. my last one reminded me of steve martin and had some great one liners. 

my current one cracked me up too. he told me that i might be a candidate for a degenerative eye disease as i grow old(er) - but thankfully that my odds are no worse than anyone else. and that if i have any

 problems in 50 years that i should come back and see him - or his descendants. [ba-dum-bump-ch].

ps - that's a pic of my dilated eye - creepy, eh?

for pandora (c/o carnaby street)

Can we please chill out

Ok. I get it. It is hot. We don't want to melt inside if we don't have to. I agree air-conditioning is necessary but things, in my opinion, are way out of control here in good old USA. Just tonight I walked from the air-conditioned house where I was getting around in jeans and a jumper (sweater for our American audience). Why? Because it was close to freezing inside. Then I got into the air-conditioned car where the temperature was 69 degrees F. OMG, again bloody freezin. Then I stepped into the restaurant where you guessed it, Antartica. So yeah, it is hot outside but can we please chill out on the air-conditioning. Aside from the environmental impact, it is just wrong that I even have to wear a long-sleeve anything in this beautiful summer weather.

table topic #10

here's another food one for this week's table topic: 

10. What's your favorite junk food?

i haven't had one in about 15 years, but i was always partial to a chocodile. the finest twinkie covered in the cheapest, thinnest chocolate imaginable. per wikipedia, chocodiles have not been made on the east coast since the 1990s, which might explain why i haven't had one in a while. as back up hostess choice, i'd  have to go with the orangey vanilla cupcakes - never the chocolate - yum. 

niche marketing?

i'm wondering how big of a problem this is for women - hanes is now claiming "wedgie free" on their undies. 

i'm wondering how it can stop someone from "having one's clothing stuck between the buttocks, often from having had one's pants or underwear pulled up as a prank" (the dictionary definition of a wedgie, if you couldn't guess.) 

i think "prank protected" would have been a better claim. 

scarily bad or hilarious?

i've passed this sign a few times now - it's from a dry cleaner on my way to the subway. 

the first one has always disturbed me a bit. 

but the second one cracks me up every time. 

now the third...wonder if that is at all related to the second...?

you've crossed the line, facebook

my facebook ads have hit a new low - there was lonely hearts, muffin top, the collage of overweight and broke ones, etc. 

but now facebook is insinuating that my eggs are going to dry up. looks like i have 7 months left before i am no longer harvestable. 

thanks, fb. 

what is modern communication coming to?

overheard at the gap, from one dressing room to another: 'did you get my text?'

word of the day: confab

i've started using this word recently and i'm not sure where i picked it up. unfortunately, nobody knows what the hell i'm talking about when i say it. yet. 

confab (n.)

1. a confabulation

2. an informal conversation; having a conference in order to talk something over

3. coffee talk with linda richman 

scarily bad (window edition)

i realize that they don't have much to work with being a pharmacy and all, but this is a pretty bad window display. i might have swapped the male urinal for perfume or something.